Poetry

This is where I share pieces of my heart—some in the form of poetry, others just thoughts that pop into my head. It’s a mix of feelings, moments, and little things that make life what it is! 

Don't take anything too seriously and if you think a "poem" is about you, its not. And don't ask who its about :)  

Otherwise, I hope you enjoy. 

Disclaimer: Im not a poet sooo don't judge me too much and if its cringey don't tell me. 

The Rose

 The rose you gave me months ago is still in my possession 

It’s still as crimson as the day you gave it to me 

It still has all those bloody thorns too,

The smell that had me intoxicated has faded though

I used to inhale so deeply, and not get enough

All the memories of you came flooding back

It is the only piece of you I have left 


It’s a fake rose

Made of plastic and felt 

The color- obnoxiously crimson, and so animated, so green

The smell was from the perfume you sprayed in the middle 

It will never die, but as I said 

The smell has faded and I don’t remember you anymore 

Yet, Now

I have a tacky plastic rose, that won’t die, with no smell

Reminding me every day of what our relationship really was, 

Existing without a purpose.



An Artists Torture 


The bodies I paint and draw cannot compare,

To the agony, each line brings as I envision you.

I close my eyes, frustrated yet devoid of contempt,

Striving to create masterpieces,

Yearning for just a fraction of your beauty.


These lines, inevitably drawn and filled with despair,

Form a figure that echoes your essence.

But your face, I always leave bare,

For I cannot envision another in your stead.

And so, I stare at the blank canvas,


This is an artist's torture, I swear:


To possess the power to create,

Yet be haunted by memories of you, that I never got to experience in this life


For you, are beyond this world,

Only the magnificence of heaven can compare.



What was Supposed to be 


The way that it was supposed to be 

Was letting you love me


And me loving you

No matter what we see


In the quiet of the night, I still hear your name,

Echoes of what could have been, a love that will never the same.


But life has its plans, some twists and turns,

Leaving us to navigate, the lessons we have to learn.


So I'll cherish the memories, hold them close to me,

For in them lies the beauty, of what once used to be.


Though our paths may diverge, and our hearts may roam free,

I'll always carry a piece of you, in the depths of me.


Because in my heart, I knew you were the one,

But you always knew it wasn't meant to be.



Beauty 


In the face of death, most quiver with fear,

But I find solace in its embrace, I swear 

While many dread the decay and demise,

I see a beauty that underlies.

Is it the unknown that makes us tremble,

Or the thought of what we'll soon resemble?

For me, death holds no terror's sway,

But rather, a truth I dare to say.


When we depart this earthly stage,

We're remembered, not with rage.

Those left behind, in somber reflection,

Paint a colorful painting of our life's collection.



So why fear the inevitable end,

When in death, we might find a faithful friend?


May we meet again, in realms unseen,

Where fears are gone, and souls convene.


So why this fear, this anxious cry,

When in death, the truth cannot lie?

Let us embrace this natural end,

As our legacy in hearts does blend



No Regrets …..

        

The world won't end when I am gone

The earth will continue spinning

People will keep on living

One or two people will weep for a couple nights 

Then completely forget my absence

Every once and a while, smiling at a memory

I didn't change the world

I didn't grant myself eternal salvation

I did nothing for the ones I left behind

Yet I have no regrets



Chasing Clouds


I find myself lately staring at the sky. 

Blue, so blue- The sky, 

colored in the vast greatness of the clouds

Tinted- with the swirls of yellow and purple


I find myself staring at the sky.

Wondering about how you are 

How you would have enjoyed the sunset dancing in between the clouds

How the purple shadows, dramatic as they are, are necessary to display their magnificence 


I close my eyes


And in the silence, I chase the clouds,

Tracing their shapes in my mind,

Each wisp a memory, each hue allowed


In the dance of light and shadow play,

Amongst the golden hues that sway,

Your spirit is forever at ease.


I find solace in the vast expanse,

Where the heavens meet the earth,

In the whispers of a cosmic dance,

Where memories find their worth.


So I'll keep staring at the clouds, evermore,

In the canvas of that bright blue sky,

For in their beauty, I'll explore,

The echoes of you, flying high.


In memory of Kevin Castile.

Thunderstorm


The roar that splits open the sky

Like a beast hungry, ready to devour the world 


A Rumble that shakes my very core.

This is just a worldly sound, an experience that lasts for a moment


So imagine the unbounded, omnipotent one whom this sound glorifies. 


The thunder glorifies His praises, as do the angels in awe of Him. 

He sends thunderbolts, striking with them whomever He wills


What are we in his presence? 

We forget, but with this sound, We're reminded of our humble state,

Before the power that governs fate.


In the presence of the divine,

We're but fleeting, mortal line.

Yet in this momentary sound,

We find a truth that is so profound.


For as the thunder rolls on high,

We sense the vastness of the sky.

And in that fleeting, wondrous span,

We get a glimpse of the glory

 of the Greatness of our Lord. 



Ocean 


My love for my lord is best described as that of my love for the ocean


I can't help but wonder about all the things that are beneath the surface, what wonder lie


And yet I'm terrified to ever find out what might be


What I don't understand, and what I have never imaged, or worse, what I do imagine


But my lord created the vastness and mystery of those very depths, so as much as it chills me to the bone, 


And at the end of the day, I return to my creator and he, the creator alone Is the one who truly eases my soul.



……….But One

My only regret my lord,is that I won't be able to worship and show you my love for you in this miserable world any longer.


I won't be able to prostrate and beg for forgiveness and Guidance in the depths of the night 


I won't be able to ask you for patience to things that made me want to leave this world In the first place


My lord, your word is absolute 

And final, you are the most merciful


So I ask, this one request;



Let me live forever to show you my love and dedication regardless of your promise of paradise.



Never alone


My heart wonders about the earth

As my soul is in despair

Hoping for a place to feel at ease

Knowing its nowhere near

I look to the heavens and call your name 

That is when my heart finally falls tame


I lose sight of where and who I am

Yet you never let go of my hand.



Lost

Lost in the world, I wander alone,

With a heavy heart and a soul unknown,

The streets are empty, the night is long,

And I feel like I don't belong.


I search for a path, a guiding light,

To show me the way, to give me sight,

But all around me is darkness and gloom,

And I feel like I'm trapped in an endless room.


The world spins around me, a dizzying blur,

And I can't seem to find a place to occur,

My feet move forward, but my mind is stuck,

And I feel like I'm out of luck.


But deep inside me, there's a flicker of hope,

A tiny flame that helps me cope,

It whispers softly, "You'll find your way,

Just keep going, day by day."


So I take a breath and keep on walking,

Through the shadows and the talking,


For I am not alone in this lost world. 

I look to the heavens and call your name 

That's when my heart finally falls tame


I lose sight of where and who I am, but at the end of the day-

you never let go of my hand.



Sorrows


If I were to bare my soul to the world,

And let my sorrows spill forth,

From the depths of my heart,

Through the passage of my throat,

Past the gateway of my mouth,


They would wreak havoc on all in their path.

Some of the words cling to my soul,

Knowing they are not meant for mortal ears,

In a world that is noisy and indifferent,

And a spirit that feels defeated.


So I keep my sorrows locked away,

In the deepest recesses of my being,

Allowing them to fester and gnaw,

For I know, come what may,

No one can truly alleviate my despair,

Except for the One


The One Who hears the unspoken cries, 

Who Sees the tears we hide,

Who understands the silent pain

And offers solace in the dua I make in the rain

In the quiet of my solitude,

I turn to Him with gratitude.

For in His mercy, I find release,

And in His love, I find my peace.


Though the world may never see,

The depths of my pain or misery,

In His presence, I find solace,

And my burdens begin to ease.


So I raise my hands in prayer,

And trust in His eternal care.

For in His infinite grace, I know,

That He will heal my heart's sorrow.



Sujood

Prostration

To the One and Only,

I lay my weary head upon the earth He created

And sigh.


With this sigh,

The aches of my soul resonate.


What can I say?

My troubles swirl in my mind,

So many, so plentiful,

I cannot tell what hurts,

Which worry consumes my thoughts.


And so I cry,

Prostrating-

In Sujood,

To the One who knows me better than myself.



Believing in you 


Never once did you disappoint 

Never once did you let me down

Never once did you leave me all alone, thinking that I would drown

Never once did you hold my hand and show me the way 


But you do open every door on our way


I've doubted your existence


But you have never left me alone


And at the end of the day, you are the only person, place,nor thing

that I would ever call home.



Journey of  Love 


Step by step, tear by tear, I walk to you,

First hundreds, then thousands, then millions,

From all around the world, with different statuses and situations,

All towards you,

All in the same direction,

Through marshes and the scorching desert heat by day, and the darkness of night,

Some barefoot, driven by a promise, others crawling,

Some with families, others alone, clutching a picture,

None stopping, none regretting,

In solidarity,

All for you.


All in black,

With banners held high,

Children, men, and women walking, serving each other,

No one thinking of hunger or thirst,

Families with barely anything offer their last,

Begging for us to take. On their knees, platters on their heads, calling out to those who walk,

“Welcome, visitors,

Take and do not be shy, we are honored by your presence and we are your servants.”

This, by their own volition.


The young and the old,

Being pushed by people they know or strangers,

All towards you,

Everyone with an aching heart, each walking with their own purpose,

With their own burdens, remembering yours.


All around the world, they call your name, and we beat our chests as they did to your holy chest,

Every day getting closer, the tears grow and mourning deepens,

Every day I imagine the way Lady Zaynab walked, beaten, thirsty,

How Ruqayyah and Master Al Sajjad were treated,

And how there was no one to ease their thirst or hunger.


And you, my master, how no one was there to give you a drop of water,

And how no one stood with you at the end.


I look ahead and behind me and call out,

“Look, my master, here are your servants, here is your army,”

Millions to serve you, oh holy family,

We would give our arms and eyes to you, as did the master Abbas,

He lives within those who serve the servants walking towards you,

And those walking, hold the spirit of Lady Zaynab and Master Sajjad,

Oh Lord, oh master, look, look at those who come to you in the Journey of Love.

Deal? 


Can we have a final moment

One of closure

Assurance

That I will never fall for you and you will never fall for me

And I won't even speak or daydream of your name 

Because to do so awakens something in me, something that I cannot explain. 



Dreaming about you?


You asked me if I dream about you

implication clearly in your tone 


And the answer is no I don't. 

I don't dream about you. 

I don't dream about the life we could have. 

I don't dream your  beautiful features and how I wish to indulge. 

I don't dream about anything we could be.

I simply don't dream about you at all.


Though you consume all my thoughts. 

there is a distinction, I swear

to dream is to be unconscious and have your desires fall through cracks of your subconscious


to dream is to depend on random factors to bring up a subject, with no intention truly behind these night visions


but I think about you. consciously and constantly 


every active moment of the day or night 

I choose to spend the energy imagining you.

what you would say, feel, look and smell like. 

because you consume me.

 and to be consumed by you requires you to be entrained on every aspect of my thought.


So no. I don't dream about you

because all I ever do is think about you. 

Hold me tight, Not Close

Hold me tight but not close,
Don’t give me hope, just the ghost
Of your love for a fleeting night—
One touch, one taste, before the light.

Let me feel you, let me breathe,
Let me live this borrowed dream,
So when you let go, I’ll still be whole,
With memories to warm my soul.

I’ll carry your touch like a spark,
A quiet fire that lights the dark.
Hold me tight, but set me free—
A moment’s love, all I need.



You or Me?

Do I yearn for you,
Or long to become you?
Do I admire each fine-tuned feature
That God has blessed with His splendor,
Or cast jealous gazes, wishing
He’d bestowed the same on me?

Do I want to hold you close,
Or wear your face, your grace, your ease?
Am I drawn to the light in your eyes,
Or to the shadow you leave in me?

I can’t tell if it’s love or envy I feel—
A blur between the ache and the need,
Caught between wanting you near
And wanting to be freed.



"I promise not to go, if you promise to stay"


It's written all over your face,

And all over your heart.

I see it in your eyes,

A promise,

Not meant just for me, but for the universe to hold.


A vow woven tight like stars in the sky,

Silent and bright, unseen yet so near.

We linger, suspended in this quiet exchange,

Our breaths like whispers, our fears like chains.


I promise not to drift, if you promise to stay,

For we are the anchors, against life’s sway.

And in this fragile, unspoken embrace,

We find our courage, we find our place.


So I'll reply to your statement in a breathless way,

A quiet confession: I, too, will stay.



Put a Pin in It


Put a pin in this forbidden love,

I can’t deny these feelings burn deep,

A fire that neither fades nor sleeps.

The shape of my heart, both the lock and key,

Yet I guard it close for no one to see.


So this love, this burden I silently bear,

Hidden and secret, too fragile to share.

It rests in shadows, untouched and unspoken,

A quiet flame, a vow unbroken.


Pinned to the edges of all I restrain,

A longing I shelter from pleasure and pain.

And though I keep it out of sight,

Its weight presses closer on my chest every night.

But to me, it’s a love that must stay in the depths,
Neither eliminated nor illuminated,
Yet undeniably there, quietly fated.

A love I protect, too wild to release,
Too precious to name, yet I find no peace.
It’s the ache I wear beneath my skin,
The silent longing I dare not begin.

Bound in secret, sealed in my soul,
A love that’s hidden, yet somehow whole.
So I’ll keep it pinned, this quiet desire—
A spark untouched, yet forever on fire.



Heartbeat


One by one, hundreds if not thousands

Beat their chest as was done to your holy chest

When your chest was trampled there was no one to answer your calls

And now, we beat out chest to answer your call and we frantically beat them to say

We are here

We will not leave you

And we wish it was our Chest that are trampled 

And not the one the prophet used to hug and kiss.

You are the heart of the ummah my master 

And when our heart was ripped apart 

We started, by the millions trying to restore and supplement the heart that was harmed 


Because of your sacrifice

Islam has a heart beat 

That by the years

Grows louder and louder

As millions sync their hearts with your message

And that of your holy grandfather. 




Grave of my Grave


They tell me to pass a message to you my master

To ask you to pass a message to the almighty

Because you are a holy ambassador for sinners like me


So here I am at your Grave 

Adorned with crystals and jewels 

Yet the beauty I feel is not from the architecture  

Nor the perfumes sprayed

Or the green marble under my feet


What should I ask for? Who do I ask for? How can such peace come from such a tragic place


A battlefield where 72 were slaughtered?

How is there peace and serenity in my heart that I've been looking for my whole life. 


Why at this Grave? 


My master, I am at your door, hundreds reaching out and crying for your intervention. 


My master I reach for you both in my soul and physical form 


And I plea for three things


Let me give my salutations to you and your holy family, o master of paradise


Let me apologize to you about what calamities befall you and your holy family 


And let.me please o master, feel The peace in my soul that you give me at your Grave in this world, And the next when I am in my grave.



He gives, not takes


He gives, not takes, the Merciful, the Compassionate,
In every breath, His presence flows.
When pain swells, He offers relief,
Not in return for worship, but out of love.

In moments when hope seems far,
He gives guidance, showing the way.
His mercy is vast, beyond what we imagine,
Unasked, He gives, seeking nothing back.

In our struggles, He sends patience,
In our fears, He grants courage.
He asks for no favors in exchange,
Only that we remember Him,
For He is the Giver, the Sustainer,
Who provides even before we ask.

Through sorrow and joy alike,
He gives chances for growth,
Opportunities to come closer to Him,
Never taking, always giving,
For He is Allah, the Generous, the Eternal.



Transported- 2024


Walking in the desert heat, step by step,
The ground burns beneath my feet,
Wishing I could return to the comfort of home.
Two days have passed, wandering this path,
With no end in sight, no familiar place ahead.

The only sound is the call of the servants:
“Come, drink water, and remember your Mola.”

I see women, children, alone but not abandoned,
Each holding flags, their steps steady with faith,
From nations far and wide, their tongues uttering prayers,
Each dua like a whisper of hope into the vast sky.

I do not know where we are headed.
Where will we sleep?
Where will this journey take us?
Is this my last sip of cool water
For seconds, minutes, or perhaps hours to come?

Hopelessness settles into my bones,
Tinged with unease, heavy and unshakable.
I am alone, tired, frustrated—
And as I raise my eyes to the merciless desert sun,
Tears well on the edge of surrender.

“Welcome, oh beloved visitors of Hussain!”
A voice rings out like cool rain.
A man, his face alight with kindness,
Offers us water, shelter for the sisters,
Insisting we allow him the honor of serving us.
Holding a hose, he sprays our heads, hands, feet,
A simple act—yet it brings profound relief.

I sit beneath his makeshift tent,
Where a cool fan hums and water flows freely,
But in my heart, a different kind of thirst stirs.
I start to cry, disappointment in myself swelling—
How can I compare my struggle to that of Molati Zainab?

She received no shelter in her desert,
No stranger's embrace to ease her pain.
And as I gazed desperately at the blinding sun,
She stood tall, unwavering in her faith in God’s grace.

Where I see an end to my suffering,
She faced the unknown,
Not knowing if she would live or die,
Yet she worried not for herself,
But for the dozens in her care.

While I fret over my thirst,
She carried the weight of a deeper sorrow,
For her brother, his thirst unquenched,
A bitter reminder held high for all to see—
His head lifted on the cursed spear,
A testimony to the trials she bore.

And so I cry, not from the heat or the exhaustion,

But from the understanding of a sacrifice far greater than my own.